KING'S CORNER

Time and Technology

Everywhere you go these days someone is on their cell phone, plugged into their iPod, relying on a GPS or sacked out in front of a TV or computer.  Technology has made our lives easier, no doubt, but it has also has disconnected the individual from society.  We rely less and less on interpersonal communication and interaction, substituting emails, text messages and Twitter for actual contact.  A compleat man knows when enough is enough.  Cell phones have become the norm for communication but that does not mean that I want to hear you talking to your girlfriend while I am in line to get my cup of coffee in the morning.  Have some manners and excuse yourself to find a private place to have a phone call, or put the phone on mute.  Just because you get a call does not mean you have to answer it in public.  I also have a peeve about texting, this is not a method of quality communication.  If you want to communicate with someone call them.  The text message is a way to find out if they are there or to send them information that they may need to write down.  Sending twenty messages of five to fifty words just to find out what happened last night is a poor use of time, be a man talk to them.  The same goes for music, take some time to pull the buds out of your ears and listen to what is going on around you, be able to understand and speak to those around you.  By no means do you need to have them on while working, in class or while driving.  The GPS may be handy and have a nice voice, but folks we are in Wyoming, if you get lost in Big Horn you are in a world of hurt.  Out in the wilderness, a GPS is handy, but knowing how to read a topographic map and use a compass are far more important than relying on batteries.  As we have said many a time, sitting in front of the TV or computer playing HALO or Grand Theft Auto for hours at a time is a waste of time.  A few hours a week is fine, but if your bragging rights include completing Grand Theft Auto in 23 hours you need to check yourself.  Drop the plastic computer shield and get out and talk to people, do something constructive.  If you are spending better that fifty percent of your free time using technology then you need a break.  Get out, learn something, help someone, become a compleat man.                                                                                        -B. King

ABBY NORMAL'S WISDOM

A New Brand of Mouthwash

   Oh boys!  What have you gone and done now?  It hurts my heart to see how many boys need to have their mouths washed out with soap.  If your mother won’t do it, then please open wide and Abby will give you a thorough washing and rinsing!  Since when has it become acceptable and tolerable to hear the F-bomb in every other word of a conversation, or hear women being referred to as the B-word?  Unfortunately, the uneducated boy considers this a large part of his vocabulary these days.  Let’s face it, we all have a moment where it just feels good to cuss, but I’ve always drawn the line with using offensive language in front of children and my elders. For men, this should include the presence of women.

  Recently, it has been my disappointment to work with certain individuals who feel it appropriate to discuss what they did over the weekend: Mostly consisting of how many girls they talked into taking home and what they did.  How manly and charming they must be to accomplish these feats.  Then, in the same breathe I get to hear about what B****** and C**** women are.  This boys, is what we refer to as the case of the classical ignoramus.  As a lady I find this vocabulary appalling and very disrespectful….maybe because I am neither of these titles so rudely bestowed upon these women.  I take offense to these words being used in my presence, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for having such a limited and narrow thought process and vocabulary.  Keep in mind that the workplace is not where these items of business should even be discussed. 

  Is it not enough that I have worked with men my entire life and enjoyed their company, friendship, and respect in the workplace, only to be rewarded with such lovely stories from scum of the earth?  I’m sorry, but I am a woman who diligently works beside men, carries my weight, camps out, travels, and keeps up with them.  Show some respect!  The foul language and disgusting remarks are unnecessary and should not be tolerated.  Most disturbing are the other men who stand by and listen to this garbage and never say a word!  What is wrong with you?  Have you lost your manhood along with your mind?

   There was a time when a man would stand up for a lady if others were being rude in her presence.  Now, they just stand around and laugh at the rude insults like it’s something acceptable.  I’m here to tell you it is far from acceptable or tolerable!  Seriously boys, you need to grow some cajones and not indulge in this ignorance.  Every time these fragrant man swine say something derogatory towards women, you should be thinking about your mother, sister, daughter, or wife and how you would feel if these horrible things were being said to or about them.  Bet you wouldn’t be so impressed then…not impressed enough to stand there and laugh like an idiot!

  It’s one thing to be out with the boys joking and kidding around and getting a little rambunctious, but keep in mind that there are certain times and places for appropriate language.  Clean up your act and your mouth.  People judge you based on how you present yourself, and your vocabulary reflects your intelligence (or lack thereof).  You need to be setting a respectable example for the generation following in your footsteps, not creating a cult of non-virility.  Challenge yourselves to create a new vocabulary that includes respectful, intelligent words; not garbage and filth that make people embarrassed to be around you!  Remember, profanity is a crutch for ignorance. I hope it trips you and knocks some sense into you.

–A. Normal

AS I SEE IT

Bar Room Etiquette for the Modern Man                                                  

 Hey Meatball! You know the guy who has one too many drinks at the bar or restaurant and starts telling stories about what a bad-ass, or ladies’ man he is? Telling stories that always include overly dramatic hand gestures and a nearly shouting decibel level. This craving for extra attention supposedly soothes the pain left over from high school insecurity. I refer to these guys as Meatballs. These boys are the same clowns who spend more time looking at themselves in the mirror at the gym than actually working out. Look gents, we have all been there, myself included. The problem comes when you let your Meatballish behavior happen every time you go out. As a man you have to understand there is a time and place for everything. This includes your stories about your latest pushing competition outside the bar last week. Acceptable times for these stories include when you are up on the mountain camping with the guys or poker night. Do you get the picture? The family eating at the next table does not need or want to hear about your unmanly nocturnal activities, and I sure as hell don't. While we are on the topic, if you are going to act like a Meatball then leave the MMA sponsor T-shirt at home. The only one who thinks you are a bad-ass for your one size too small Tapout shirt are your fellow Meatballs, and of course your online girlfriend; who is secretly a guy. So let's get down to it, bar room etiquette as follows: 1. Watch your mouth, bars are public places so watch what you say. 2. Check your intake, if you are going to drink till you fall down then just stay home. 3. Just be courteous to others, have a plan to get home safe. Act like a man, start today.            

-S. Hanson