Bar Room Etiquette for the Modern Man
Hey Meatball! You know the guy who has one too many drinks at the bar or restaurant and starts telling stories about what a bad-ass, or ladies’ man he is? Telling stories that always include overly dramatic hand gestures and a nearly shouting decibel level. This craving for extra attention supposedly soothes the pain left over from high school insecurity. I refer to these guys as Meatballs. These boys are the same clowns who spend more time looking at themselves in the mirror at the gym than actually working out. Look gents, we have all been there, myself included. The problem comes when you let your Meatballish behavior happen every time you go out. As a man you have to understand there is a time and place for everything. This includes your stories about your latest pushing competition outside the bar last week. Acceptable times for these stories include when you are up on the mountain camping with the guys or poker night. Do you get the picture? The family eating at the next table does not need or want to hear about your unmanly nocturnal activities, and I sure as hell don't. While we are on the topic, if you are going to act like a Meatball then leave the MMA sponsor T-shirt at home. The only one who thinks you are a bad-ass for your one size too small Tapout shirt are your fellow Meatballs, and of course your online girlfriend; who is secretly a guy. So let's get down to it, bar room etiquette as follows: 1. Watch your mouth, bars are public places so watch what you say. 2. Check your intake, if you are going to drink till you fall down then just stay home. 3. Just be courteous to others, have a plan to get home safe. Act like a man, start today.
-S. Hanson
No comments:
Post a Comment